Still-Frames of Fatherhood

For nine years, on the eve of Father’s Day, I’ve written to you. Sometimes it was all my sentiments in a Hallmark Card that spilled over and onto the back and the front, and then even up the sides, but then I changed things up and made my own cards–and my own ways of tracking the most important memories of our days. And your Fatherhood. I chose to document with my camera what I saw with my eyes, and then I’d write to you in pictures. It’s the easiest form of communication for me. You know what they say a picture is worth…

So here we are again, and it’s your ninth Father’s Day. And yet I know you won’t even bat an eye at that. “I don’t need a day,” you tell me. “Really, it’s no different and nothing on a calendar makes me feel more celebrated. I don’t need ‘a day’.” Oh but I do. I want a set date once a year, where I sit and write to you, and sit and sort thorough the last year of memories with you and our most favorite human: Eli Boy. I love that in a fraction of seconds, I can see a still-frame and remember our whole day. I love having a photographic memory, but I know not everyone has that…and so I keep snapping. In hopes that one day, maybe when you’re old and gray (lucky you, you’re not even kind of gray yet!), you’ll be able to look back and remember it all too. Just because of a quiet shutter click. And just because there was…A Day. 

Thank you for being our Super Funny; our sarcastic joke that only E and I get; Eli’s way up high shoulder ride; our Pumpkin-carver; our roof-top-adventuring fun time; our firework starter, flame-throwing Daddy; our video-watcher; Bike-ride Master; kneel-down-for-a-quick-photo Guy. I love that you’re our gentle catch when we fall (or jump!), and our manly, lumberjack-bearded super-big-tractor driver. You’re the best fixer of all-the-things, lay on the floor leak inspector, best hug-there-ever-was Guy. But you’re also that super confident HERO I want to be around, who’ll pose by the Lego Ladies, who’s also the best sword-fighter, snow-derby truck driver, warmest, strong hug I’ve ever felt. Gah, how lucky E and I are to get these on the hour. ♥ Thank you for spending weeks fixing the worst plumbing issue in the “world”, always wanting to mow the grass, even if it’s almost dark out and we haven’t eaten even one meal, and for not ever backing out of the hardest parts of life, our job, and our relationship. Thank you for pivoting our business to cater to our lives and the quality of life we want–and for helping us live in a COVID world as if it’s no big thing. You’re the best snow-fort builder, tree-hugger salesman/teacher, funniest person on the planet to ever have existed. I know…because I’ve shed more tears laughing with you than I ever have crying. My eyes are like oceans with you, J. Waves upon endless waves for you always.

My heart loves you more than I can express because of who you are and what you’ve done for and WITH me and E, and all…well…you know. ♥♥♥♥♥

Happy Father’s Day. Love you to the moon, J. Yes. That far… (wink).